July 2014, also known as a long time ago in a land not so far far away

A long time ago in a land not so far, far away, photos were taken in the fair month of July.  A month so fair in temperature and temperament that the residents of the province were delighted by the temperate days and cool sleeping nights.  In that month, i stopped working - about halfway through because we were anticipating the birth of our child.  My co-workers were so amazing, taking care of me left, right and centre.  "No, we'll move that heavy patient, not you" or "of course we'll hang your chemo for you" or "stay away from that patient who is a Code White risk".  I have thanked them but i'm not sure if i have said it enough.  

I've gathered up a few pictures from July, i don't remember too many specifics (between baby brain and getting older) but i remember the temperate being wonderful, taking lots of evening walks and enjoying being in the garden when possible, and realizing that soon the garden would be lacking some attention as my attention would be focused elsewhere.  It was a month of waiting, and of "lasts before baby" if you know what i mean.  Last night shift, last day shift, last ultrasound, last time in church, last time to sleep through the night.  We were pretty excited and scared and full of wonder and anticipation.  Spending a lot of time with friends and family was a good way to keep us occupied.

Our clematis was exceptionally beautiful this year... provided a great privacy screen for us when we sat on our front porch

One morning i was at the Moms and Tots playgroup at the park, 5 days overdue when i got a text from my youngest sister, Lauren who was in labour with her twins and could i drive her to the hospital since her husband was coming in from out of town and Mom had to keep B at her house... so of course, i was super excited and raced over there and drove her to the hospital in full labour - i was a little worried i might be delivering twins in our car!  I think the nurses were a little confused as to who was in labour, me or Lauren.  We laugh about that a lot still to this day.  My midwife, Lynley, came to the hospital as she was covering on-call and she was also a little confused when she saw me there not in labour...
 B spent the next few days at his grandparent's places as he became a big brother - a big adjustment for him to be sure.  Here he is happily drawing me pictures, becoming quite the artist!

Meeting Sadie for the first time - first girl grandchild on our side of the family!  Super exciting and such a little peanut!

Timothy practicing for his own little one, hopefully in a few days!

The twinnies.... so little they could both fit in the same bed...so sweet!

Last shots of the garden in full glory.. a bit of a jungle as usual!

Rach and Mike stayed in town for a few days waiting for babies to be born... i think this picture is from the Friday before our babe was born, we went for a huge walk with all the boys to try to kick-start this baby into making an appearance. 

Looking oh so preggo... trying for an artsy shot!

Will it be a boy?  (i was pretty convinced given our family track record)

Or will it be a girl?  Only time would tell!

This morning

How and where do i start back into this whole world of blogging?  Seems like eons ago - it was over a year ago that i last posted anything - and it's SO hard to sum up what life has been like in the last year.  I think i might follow my dear sister's approaches and do post updates monthly - makes it a little less intimidating for me and maybe a little easier to chew for others who might still maybe hanging on by one fingernail to the cliff edge that is waiting for my latest blog post (dear Dad).  
As i sit here though this morning, one day away from my dear daughter's first birthday, i am filled to the brim with reminiscences (is that even a word?  On a little side note, incommodiousness is a word, despite the fact that my spell check doesn't like it - it's in a Dickens novel that i'm reading currently - it's wonderful!  You should try and use it someday soon, i'm suggesting possibly in describing your frustrations with a phone call to any government or utility company - it means something along the lines of "an inconvenient discomfort").  
I put her down for a nap this morning and normally Martha goes down well - she's usually tired out from playing since 6:30 when she pops up in bed with a smile and a "hi" for me - but today was an exception.  I sat down to check the weather and email and i heard a weeping and gnashing of teeth from down the hall and i tried my utmost to ignore it but when it hit a certain high pitch, i decided to investigate the situation.  Little miss was sitting up in bed crying but no emergencies of getting legs stuck in bars or having thrown her little lovey George over the siderail, just wanting Mom, i suppose.  
So we snuggled for a while rocking in the chair of Timothy's grandfather, back and forth and back and forth.  Gradually her eyes began to droop and her head began to sag down and sweet sleep, refreshing sleep, necessary sleep took over and i could have transferred her into her bed and gotten some more work done but today, this morning, with a heart full of love and nostalgia and memories, i sat and rocked my baby for a while longer.  

"This morning"
This morning you cried
And tears like giant raindrops wet your cheeks
And you reached out to me
To be cuddled close and comforted
To repose on my breast
To listen to my heartbeat 
To calm your breathing and match mine, breath for breath
I feel you relax against me, muscles letting go, tension leaving for a time
Eyelids flutter closed, 
Impossibly long eyelashes sweep your cheeks and veil your eyes
Little sucks on your soother from rosebud lips
I touch your soft skin with the tip of my finger, oh so gently
Don't want to wake you and break into the solace of sleep
Your hair, the colour of ripened wheat, 
Soft
Wispy
My breath caressing your head and lifting tiny hairs with my breaths
This morning i remember...
That last year i didn't know your name, didn't know your face, didn't know you
Other than from kicks and twists and nine months of wondering who you were
And we waited, not always so patiently
To hold you in our arms, your Dad and I
And now here you are,
This morning
Cradled
Loved
Cherished
Known as we are known
by the One who cradles us and loves us and cherishes us each morning