"Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what i mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread. That can't be right. I need a change, or something."
LOTR Chapter 1
Bilbo seems to have hit the nail on the head with his little musing on his life. He has drawn a beautiful analogy to how we feel sometimes, inside, pulled in many directions but not really going anywhere. Spinning our metaphorical wheels in the mud and creating a lot of mess at times but not progressing, driving in any way. Not even sure of where to go and how best to proceed. I know that there is a plan and a path all marked out for us but somedays i feel like i don't even deserve to have that done for me. I ignore the author of the map and seek to find my own ways through the quagmires and tangles of life, often to no avail. And so, yes, here i lie, still in the same place after seven years, wondering what is to come and how to tackle things. I have desires to do so many things in life but don't seem to accomplish things. Yes, i know, i have travelled in a very real sense in many places and done interesting things, why can i not be content with that? Why must there always be something more? Something just beyond the grasp which entices and lures and even frustrates? There are so many things in this life which are wonderful, which God has created for us to enjoy which i wish to lap up, to soak in and to be a part of, yet the clock ticks ever onwards and i waste time doing silly things. Argh! I would like it to be said of my life that I served God and served Him faithfully. I suppose it doesn't matter how many classic books i've read or how many places in the world i've visited or how many friends i have, but if it can be said of me that i lived a life in step with my Lord, that is the ultimate accomplishment in life... and that not even of myself but only done through the Lord's having His almighty arm guiding me and leading where He would have me go. A bit like walking in the dark at times not sure where to put the next step but trusting your guide so implicitely that He would not lead you astray. Lead me Lord!
3 comments:
*hug*
I think sometimes we become convinced we must write a book or find the cure for cancer or do something amazing that puts our names in the history books in order to make our lives worthwhile. However, since most people won't become famous (except for their proverbial 15 minutes perhaps), we must be content to realize that we live life in the everyday things, day in and day out - keeping in mind the Bigger goal which is not our own accomplishment. We are small parts of a grand plan, each of us is only a little cog, and we must plant each step with faith. Step by step...
Love ya!
Rach, You said that right. It is so often that we need reminders that God's works prepared for us are not always huge and earth shattering, but the small things often touch the life of so many.
Danielle, I really want to comment on this blog...but in 10 minutes I'm leaving for a weekend retreat. Hopefully I can remember sometime next week.
HUGE hug!
Theresa.
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