Ever have one of those days?

No major events to discuss today, no life changing events, simply wanting to speak about my day yesterday... trying to understand why i felt the way i did. It baffled me to no end right up til the point when i fell asleep in my chair in front of the tv at 10:48 pm. Why was i feeling the way i did? The best words i can use to describe my feelings were these : fractious, antsy, and frankly pissy. I know that word sounds funny and maybe a little crude but that's the truth. I felt like i wanted to jump out of my skin and fly every direction at once and yet, just stay in one place and find peace. It was the weirdest thing ever. I have seldom felt like that. I talked to Lauren about it when we met for dinner at Rumak, a lovely little Polish restaurant on Upper Wellington, and we found that we had had similar experiences. It is actually a little nerve-wracking to feel so odd. Normally, especially in the last half year, i have felt rather dead, numb and asleep. Not really passionate about anything, just sorta coasting along. I felt like a sideline off the main railroad track, like an extra dead end tunnel off the main mine shaft, etc. Maybe it all just culminated in my day yesterday.
I talked with someone else about it and we discussed that it was maybe Post-Valentine's Day Traumatic Stress syndrome. I have no clue. I normally don't give a care about Valentine's Day since it doesn't mean anything for me, i usually just make light of it and get on with things, but maybe somehow some residual feelings kept their footing in the bottom of my consciousness and decided to raise their ugly heads yesterday. It's not like i sit and pine away, but maybe all the "couply" things just irked me a little. I shouldn't let it get to me and i didn't overtly.
I tried to visit my sister in St. Catherines on a whim, not calling or emailing first, and knowing full well that it might not work out at all and trying to reconcile that to myself internally, but when i actually pulled into their driveway and felt that sinking feeling that my thoughts were corroborated, it was disappointing. I left a little note on their door, paid $1.00 !!!!!! to make a stinking pay phone call and leave a message on their machine (maybe i should get a cell phone, but then again maybe not... don't even start that discussion with me!) So what is a body to do? I don't really know anyone else in that neck of the woods well enough to drop in on (people always say to drop in, for that matter, and i never dare, what if they're busy and they're just too polite to say "go away" or what if they think i'm strange or what if i just didn't think and they're picking up their kids from school in five minutes or they need a nap or the like. All these what ifs. Too much analysis - don't you think women do too much analysis? Sometimes i do. Sometimes i don't. It's good to think about things, but not so much that you become lost in intellectualism and reasoning. Somedays i go the whole day without a deep thought. Once i even went a whole week without a deep thought. Crazy. Certainly not a familial trait since my dearest mother thinks all day long and each day. I wish i had a little touch of her thought processes.) Wow, that was a long bracket.
Back on topic, it's outrageous that it costs 50 cents to make a phone call and if you don't happen to have quarters, that greedy machine takes loonies but doesn't give change. Not that 50 cents is a large amount but it's the principle of the thing. I'll bet that the cell phone people pressured Bell to increase their rates and decrease the amount of phone booths out there in order to ensure that their market is upheld and increased. A right old conspiracy, if you ask me.
Hmm... what else about my day? I drove all the way home - mind you, it was a nice drive, good and smooth and very little traffic to bother me. Sometimes traffic bothers me intensely. I just want the road all to myself. And yesterday was one of those days. I felt inside like i wasn't fit company for anyone. In order to disabuse myself of that thought, i went to visit the parents at home, who tried to convince me it would be good to come out for dinner with them to the young people's event... i just felt inside rebellious and still fractious. Mom tried to change my mind with persuasive hugs and pleadings, but alas, my mind was made up and there was no changing it.
Then i decided to go to a movie, maybe it would be easier to be in public but with no one i knew. But alas, again, they were not at times that i felt were good and there was nothing that peaked my interest playing. Strike two. Last ditch effort was Chapters. There i settled myself on a little stool in an obscure corner and preceded to read a book on 100 Peculiar Things in Ontario. It was quite interesting and i spent a fair amount of time reading it. I went in initially with all good intentions to find a chair and settle down with a book of deep poetry, but my mind would have nothing of it. So there sat i and my touristy book. It gave me some new ideas of fun outings though so it wasn't a loss. Plus i learned that the Holland Marsh wasn't named after the Hamiltonian Dutchies who went there to make it into Ontario's largest vegetable garden, but rather was named after some Colonel or Captain Holland who helped engineer things out there. All this time i thought our Dutch roots were prominently displayed there. Disappointment flooded my soul. Okay, not really, but it could have and that's enough.
Anyhow, i woke up this morning on a better side of the bed thankfully and my fractiousness had mysteriously flown the coop overnight. Better for everyone around me. Better for me. Onwards and upwards to better times and days.